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Writer's pictureDr. David Songco

Navigating the Holidays with Grace: A Guide to Setting Boundaries and Staying Grounded

The holidays are a time to connect with loved ones, but they can also bring challenges—especially for those navigating the complexities of family dynamics, personal boundaries, and self-care. As Thanksgiving approaches, many of us might feel a mix of excitement and apprehension. Whether you’re worried about sensitive topics like the election, maintaining your healthy routines, or protecting your peace, it’s okay to acknowledge those feelings and prepare proactively.


As a psychologist and someone who works closely with individuals, including performers like dancers, I want to offer some practical steps to help you navigate these situations with confidence and compassion. Let’s dive into how you can set boundaries, assert yourself healthily, and enjoy this season while staying true to yourself.


Step 1: Setting Boundaries Around Sensitive Topics

Thanksgiving tables are notorious for sparking debates, and this year, election outcomes might be on everyone’s mind. While it’s great to share perspectives, it’s also okay to protect your mental space.


  1. Know Your Limits

    Before heading home, reflect on what topics feel uncomfortable or draining for you. Maybe political discussions leave you feeling tense, or perhaps you’d rather avoid talk about your career or personal life. Knowing your boundaries ahead of time helps you respond intentionally.

  2. Practice Assertive Communication

    Try using “I” statements to assert your needs without escalating tension. For example: “I appreciate everyone’s opinions, but I’d prefer not to discuss politics today. Let’s focus on enjoying our time together.”

  3. Have an Exit Strategy

    If things get heated, give yourself permission to step away. Politely excuse yourself to grab a glass of water, check on the food, or take a quick breather outside. Short breaks can work wonders for de-escalating tension.


Step 2: Healthy Boundary-Setting for Dancers

For dancers, family gatherings can bring questions or comments about your career, training, or body. Here’s how to approach these moments with grace and self-assurance:


  1. Reframe the Conversation

    If a family member makes a comment that feels intrusive or critical, gently redirect the discussion. For instance: If someone says, “Are you really going to eat that pie?” respond with, “I’m really enjoying celebrating with everyone today. How’s work been for you?”

  2. Communicate Your Needs Clearly

    If a boundary is crossed, calmly let them know. For example: “I love that you’re interested in my dancing, but I’d rather not talk about my training schedule today. How about I show you some videos of our last performance instead?”

  3. Offer Reassurance

    Setting boundaries doesn’t have to feel confrontational. Use a kind tone and remind your family that your goal is to enjoy their company while staying true to your needs.


Step 3: Navigating Food and Body Image

For many, Thanksgiving can bring up concerns about food and body image. Whether you’re a dancer or not, balancing cultural expectations with self-care is crucial.


  1. Give Yourself Permission to Enjoy Food

    Remember, Thanksgiving is about celebrating abundance and togetherness. It’s okay to savor your favorite dishes without guilt. Instead of focusing on what you “should” eat, listen to your body’s cues and aim for satisfaction.


  2. Plan for Balance

    If you’re worried about staying active during the holidays, find ways to integrate movement that feels joyful and low-pressure. A post-dinner walk with family or a morning stretch can help you feel grounded.

  3. Recognize Triggers

    Be mindful of language or situations that might stir up insecurities. For example, if relatives talk excessively about diets or weight, gently redirect the topic: “I’d love to hear about what everyone is grateful for this year instead!”


Step 4: Staying Grounded in the Moment

Finally, practice strategies to stay calm and present during the holiday. Here are some quick tips:

  • Create a Ritual for Yourself

    Before joining family events, take 10 minutes to journal, meditate, or listen to music that centers you. This can set a positive tone for the day.


  • Have a Support System

    Connect with a trusted friend, partner, or therapist before and after family gatherings. Processing your thoughts and feelings with someone outside the situation can offer clarity.


  • Practice Self-Compassion

    If things don’t go perfectly, that’s okay. Holidays are messy and complex, and it’s normal to feel a range of emotions. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can.


A Final Note

The holidays are a wonderful time to connect and they can also test our boundaries and bring up challenges. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your well-being, even if it means making some tough calls. By preparing ahead, communicating clearly, and staying mindful of your needs, you can create a holiday experience that’s both joyful and nourishing.


From all of us at New Insights Training, we wish you a peaceful and fulfilling Thanksgiving. Take care of yourself, and don’t forget to savor the moments of connection that matter most!

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